Wednesday weirdness
February 12, 2020If you’re old enough to have studied Latin back in your youth, this should bring back memories.
(UPDATE: The video I originally posted was far superior to this one, but YouTube deleted it for some reason.)
Amo, amas, I love a lass
As a cedar tall and slender;
Sweet cowslip’s grace is her nominative case,
And she’s of the feminine gender.
Rorum, corum, sunt divorum,
Harum, scarum divo;
Tag-rag, merry-derry, periwig and hat-band
Hic hoc horum genitivo.
Can I decline a nymph divine?
Her voice as a flute is dulcis.
Her oculus bright, her manus white,
And soft, when I tacto, her pulse is.
Rorum, corum, sunt divorum,
Harum, scarum divo;
Tag-rag, merry-derry, periwig and hat-band
Hic hoc horum genitivo.
Oh, how bella my puella,
I’ll kiss secula seculorum.
If I’ve luck, sir, she’s my uxor,
O dies benedictorum.
Rorum, corum, sunt divorum,
Harum, scarum divo;
Tag-rag, merry-derry, periwig and hat-band
Hic hoc horum genitivo.
Find the heart!
February 11, 2020Find the heart!
February 14, 2019A poem for Valentine’s Day
February 14, 2018More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That’s how much I love you.
I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.
As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests uninvited guests,
That’s how much you I love.
I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a cripple needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.
I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oaths,
That’s how much you’re loved by me.
–Ogden Nash (1902-1971)