Hooked on phonics

April 7, 2021

Mrs. Jordan’s first grade students were in the school library, browsing through picture books, when little Emily suddenly said, “Hey, look at this! It’s a frickin’ elephant!”

Mrs. Jordan was shocked. “What did you say?” she asked.

“I said it’s a frickin’ elephant,” Emily replied. “It says so right here on the picture.”

Mrs. Jordan took the book and looked at it, and sure enough, the child was right:

AFRICAN ELEPHANT


Happy National Library Week

April 5, 2021

Cartoons for literature lovers from John Atkinson.

See more of John Atkinson’s work at Wrong Hands.


Hot cross puns

March 31, 2021

From the twisted mind of Marcus Connor.

 

 


Let them eat pi

March 14, 2021


Happiness is a warm pun

February 17, 2021


Sunday funnies

November 22, 2020


No gnus is good gnus

November 5, 2020

A zoo was getting a new wildebeest, but the animal arrived a few days earlier than expected, before its cage was ready. The crew that was supposed to lay the floor tiles was due to arrive the following day, but for the moment, all the tiles were stacked in a corner of the cage.

There was no place else to put the wildebeest, so into the cage it went. The zookeeper gave it some food and fresh water, locked the cage, and left for the night.

When he returned the next morning to see how the wildebeest was doing, the zookeeper was astonished to see that all the floor tiles had been neatly laid. The cage was still locked, and the zookeeper had the only key. He called the veterinarian and told him what had happened. The veterinarian came and examined the animal, and finding it to be perfectly healthy, concluded that it was just a typical gnu, and tiler, too.

 


Get thee to a punnery

October 16, 2020


Sunday funnies

October 4, 2020


Going down swinging

September 25, 2020

PRILEP, Macedonia (AP) – Outside a small village near the border between Greece and Macedonia, a solitary nun keeps watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of the site of significant historical developments spanning more than twenty centuries. When Sister Maria Cyrilla of the Order of the Perpetual Watch dies, the convent of St. Elias will be closed by the Eastern Orthodox Patriarch of Macedonia.

However, that isn’t likely to happen soon, as Sister Maria, 53, enjoys excellent health. By her own estimate, she walks ten miles daily about the grounds of the convent, which once served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun. In ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god of love, occupied the hilltop site.

Historians say that Attila took over the old temple in A.D. 439 and used it as a base for his marauding army. The Huns are believed to have first collected, and then destroyed, a large gathering of Greek legal writs at the site. It is thought that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system and had the writs and other documents brought to the temple.

Scholars differ on why Attila had the valuable documents destroyed — either because he was barely literate and couldn’t read them, or because they described a democratic government that did not square with his preference for autocracy.

When the Orthodox Church took over the site in the 15th century and the convent was built, church leaders ordered the pagan statue of Eros destroyed, so another ancient Greek treasure was lost.

Today, there is only Sister Maria, watching over the silent convent on the site of the old Hun base, and when she goes, the convent will cease to be.

So that’s how it ends — with no Huns, no writs, no Eros, and nun left on base.

 


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